Welcome to the ButchFemme Listings.

We know there are now a fair number of LGBT directories out there – we are listing sites here that are SPECIFICALLY B/F aimed, owned or relevant.  We may list other stuff here and there too.

Listings are by category and more or less alphabetical.  (We’ll add categories as needed.) Scroll to the bottom for listings in languages other than English (as they are submitted or we find them we will gladly list them).

OK, so, we have got a few posted – send us your listings to add!  Ready?

Here goes:

Advocacy & Activism – New York City’s oldest and largest butch/femme social and support group. BFS is committed to providing social education, emotional support, and entertainment to the much ignored butch/femme community. Since 1989, we’ve strived for fair representation of every ethnicity, all age groups, and all social and occupational backgrounds. BFS has a strict non-exclusionary policy and is open to all lesbians and TG/TS who support the beautiful butch/femme dynamic. – this is the website of the amazing Jeanne Cordova, activist, author, editor of the renowned “Lesbian Tide” being a few of the many hats she has worn. – Lesbian Mafia News – fabulous ranting by a real lezbo (Ok, some of you might find it a stretch that we list this one under Advocacy & Activism, but. . .)

Art – Author and Sex Educator Felice Newman’s Art – Butch: Not Like Other Girls – fabulous photography project by SD Holman – funding for LGBT films! Women of Color Media Arts  Projects – film festivals and more – Home page for photographer Wendi Kali’s book: The Butch/Femme Photo Project


Articles, Blogs & Forums – A Boy And Her Dog – This is a fun blog from a Butch/Transgender viewpoint.  The author describes it: “I write a personal blog about being on the butch/transgender border. I write about my dog Gracie, my partner Donna, my childhood, and various and sundry things of interest to butches. I’ve recently written on butch misogyny and on plaid flannel shirts.”  By the way, we think its of interest to Femmes and others too! – A Femme in NYC – great writing!  (and we particularly like her post “The Allure of Mature Butches”! – Autostraddle Butch Femme artcles – Article, Six Ways – Serving the needs of Butches, Femmes, Stonebutches, TG Individuals, TransMen and FtMs on the World Wide Web and in personal contact since 1996 – the favorite website is BACK with lots of new features!  Check them out!! – Candid photos and commentary by a Femme who appreciates Butches – Butch Femme on An Encyclopedia of GLBTQ Culture – Activist Jeanne Cordova – this is one of our favorite blog posts on the fate of butch femme during the era of militant lesbian feminism, among other things. On Tap is another of our faves – “Butch” writes with humor, humility (the good kind), a good dose of butch rage and butch sweetness (shhhhh. .  don’t tell her we said that), and most importantly HUMOR – she helps us laugh at our selves and love each other more. Carrying Lesbian blog discusses the butch femme dynamic – this forum is open to pretty much any kind of discussion you could dream up.  They get stars just for their name. . . – A visual celebration of self identified butch femme folx – one butch’s thoughts every few days. . . – The Butch Life – life in South Africa as a Butch – The Musings of a Lesbian Writer [listing submitted by blogger Victoria Oldham] – Some Interesting Definitions – Mainely Butch’s ramblings on the B/F lifestyle

Bars, Clubs, Dancing – The Oxwood Inn – Not strictly B/F, but the BF Social Club of LA holds dance class series here on Thursday nights.  The oldest Lesbian owned bar in L.A. County  Welcome to the Ox! We are the last Lesbian bar in the San Fernando Valley. We have a night for everybody in our LBGT family. Please come by and enjoy yourself and meet old and new friends. We have a pool table, 2 dart machines, free parking in the back, friendly bartenders and great drink prices. Don’t miss out on our Happy Hour!


Beauty & Grooming – OK, we aren’t sure what category this one belongs in, but the byline for MIZ.CHRIS is “A Femme’s Guide to Just About Everything”.  Now that’s something we should all be reading, doncha think? Butch shopping! Everything from bags and pet accessories to swimwear and our favorite link: Alternity  

Books & Magazines

Epochalips Lesbian magazine: – website of author and spoken word artist Ivan E Coyote. We can’t recommend Ivan enough.  (See Theater listing  below for Ivan on Youtube.) – Persistence All Ways Butch and Femme, Edited by Ivan E. Coyote and Zena Sharman – The Persistent Desire, A Femme Butch Reader, Joan Nestle, editor – When We Were outlaws, Jeanne Cordova


Camping – Cedars – North Americas longest running gay campground (OK, its not strictly B/F, but how many gay campgrounds do we know?  We felt it deserved a listing.)


Clothing – In their words “Our mission is to spotlight those who are systematically overlooked by society at large. The What is Butch? Movement is focused on educating , liberating and redirecting misconceptions about this marginalized, yet vibrant community. Each fashion show we produce highlights these remarkable individuals by utilizing the universally understood language, fashion.” – Sharpe Suites: The Sharpe focus is on constructing custom suits that fit your specific style and body type, however you identify. We are inspired by social context and undefined by gender binaries. Classic, cutting-edge and unafraid. – fine men’s clothing for women. – Everything from dog bow ties to mini tool kits, butch bags and more, including our favorite page: Alternity – clothing and other useful items for masculine-of-center pregnancy and parenthood! – what it sounds like.


Coming Out is a support group for women coming out late in life.  A really kind, generous and fun group.  Located in Pasadena, CA – The site of Joanne Fleisher, LCSW
Author of the book “Living Two Lives”  support for married women who love women.


Dating Sites – We have never used this site, but let us know if you have and we will post a comment.


Exercise & Health Alexander technique with Constance Clare-Newman. Constance Clare-Newman teaches the Alexander Technique in Palm Springs, CA., and in Provincetown, MA and travels for workshops. Constance also specializes in work with Dressage Riders (see cross reference under. Constance is also co-teacher of HOT, DEEP & CONNECTED. Workshops, coaching and sex education for lesbians, bisexual & queer women, along with her wife, Felice Newman (see cross-listing under Sex & Sensuality!)

People do not decide their futures; they decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.

— F. M. Alexander! – first and only queer gym in existence! Located in Oakland, CA and planning on opening two new locations – VOTE!!


Festivals, Conferences & Gatherings – Butch Voices Conference 2013 – Oakland CA –  the inimitable Michigan Women’s Music Festival – ok, not specifically B/F, but way too cool not to include.’s extensive list of Pride festivals and events around the globe. (Again, not specifically B/F, but we had to include this listing!)


Hiking & Outdoors Butch Femme Meetup group in Los Angeles doesn’t ONLY to a lot of hiking, but their full moon hikes in Griffith Park overlooking Hollywood, CA are a ton of fun.

Holidays  Annual Women’s Writer Retreat, Malaga, Spain  [listing submitted by blogger Victoria Oldham – check for her site under Blogs] Victoria says: The retreat is for anyone who writes–whether they’re working on a novel or just want to learn elements of craft, or even if they just want to be around other writers. Author and publisher Radclyffe will also be teaching workshops there throughout the week (and damn, does she write some amazing butch-femme characters!)


Hotels, Motels, B&B’s – Bambu Lesbian Resort in Spain
[listing submitted by blogger Victoria Oldham – check for her site under Blogs]

The Ashland Hostel – OK, its not specifically Butch-Femme deal, but its owned by two wonderful Womyn and we love it!  Check them out: The Ashland Hostel

Marriage & Commitment Beautiful Lesbian Wedding Proposal


Music – A Butch song, by the chorus called: Big Butch Women – Femme Song – Only Straight Girls Wear Dresses – Adorable B/F couple dances – A Butch Anthem – Classic Chris Williamson – Classic Holly Near   God Des and She (of the infamous “Lick It” featured on The L Word): – Mouths Of Babes: Mouths of Babes is Ty Greenstein (Girlyman) and Ingrid Elizabeth (Coyote Grace).
This tender tomboy and rough-and-tumble lady come together to melt hearts and shake souls with undeniable chemistry and a truly unexpected heralding of wisdom. Mouths of Babes’ sound is equal parts celebration and blues, folk and soul, salve and anthem—an invitation to love this life, to sing your sob story and end it with a smile. Check them out!! – Team Gina Butch Femme video

News – News – The Daily Butch Femmer – articles, blogs, photos, videos (also see listing for afemmeinnyc under ‘blogs’)

Parenting – what it sounds like. – Everything from dog bow ties to mini tool kits, butch bags and more, including our favorite page: Alternity – clothing and other useful items for masculine-of-center pregnancy and parenthood!

Pets & Animals – Well Carried Workshops – Alexander technique for Dressage Riders – Constance Clare-Newman. Constance is also co-teacher of HOT, DEEP & CONNECTED; Workshops, coaching and sex education for lesbians, bisexual & queer women, along with her wife, Felice Newman (see cross-listing under Sex & Sensuality!)

Photos of Butch and Femme identified folk

 Politics  –  website of Rebecca Kaplan – Oakland City Councilmember At-Large.  Hooray for openly Lesbian (Butch) political leaders!

Quizzes  – Fun Femme Butch quiz – what are you? – The Butch Femme Test . . . need to procrastinate?  Take the test.



Restaurants & Food

Sex & Sensuality – Felice Newman – HOT, DEEP & CONNECTED. Workshops, coaching and sex education for lesbians, bisexual & queer women.  Felice Newman is the author of The Whole Lesbian Sex Book. She teaches workshops with her wife, Constance Clare-Newman, an Alexander Technique teacher. (See Constance’s listing under Exercise & Health!) Palm Springs, Provincetown, MA, and Skype. – Hmmm. . . well, check this out, dear ones, and let us know what you think! – Butch Femme Kink is like a big virtual munch where queer, trans*, genderqueer, genderfluid and other expressions of butch and femme can build community together in a supportive social network environment. – Butch Ramblings Erotica Blog – Official website of Sinclair Sexsmith. Sinclair Sexsmith is an educator, coach, and writer specializing in sexualities, genders, and relationships. –  Sincalir Sexsmith’s award-winning personal online project Sugarbutch Chronicles: The Sex, Gender, and Relationship Adventures of a Kinky Queer Butch Top

Spirituality – Website for the Gay affirming Churches

Theater (Live, Film, TV) – If you have not heard Ivan E Coyote read her “Butch Roadmap”, do yourself a delight and check it out. – the fabulous “Femme Piece” that accompanies “A Butch Road Map”


Vehicles (any number of wheels)

Videos (other than music)  – Adorable B/F couple  – A most uplifting wedding proposal!

Womyn of Color Queer Women of Color Media Arts  Projects – film festivals and more – queer Women of Color Boston – Core Values – Brownboi works for Gender Justice by re-envisioning the power imbalance between traditional notions of masculinity and femininity. We hold institutional systems, other masculine people, and ourselves accountable for its accompanying privileges. We draw on a gender inclusive framework that shapes non-oppressive masculinity rooted in honor, community, and empowerment of feminine identified people, especially women and girls.

Sites in Languages other than English




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s